Isaiah 40:11
It's been a while, but I wanted to give an update on how things are going....Today is my only "day off"---even though it will be spent mostly studying and catching up on housework. It's certainly not been an easy adjustment going back to school, and the pressure of having to "get an A" in this one class (Anatomy & Physiology) is weighing me down. (that class seems like it should be taken ALONE, instead of with other classes, due to the enormous amt. of material.)
I recently read in My Utmost for His Highest (by Oswald Chambers) something along these lines: When God gives us a blessing, and we keep that blessing to ourselves, the river of life stops flowing, and we basically become stagnant, even bitter. Each blessing He pours into our lives is meant to be SHARED in order to keep that river of LIFE flowing. When I've read that very devotion in the past, I felt like He was encouraging me to be sure to share the musical gift He has given me with others, and not "keep it to myself." So as He's opened doors to share the music, I'd go through them--sometimes eagerly, and sometimes timidly (like when He opened the door to record the CD last year.)
 |
| This is Alysa & Chase in 2008 |
Many times over the past few weeks on my way to school (a rather long drive) I've prayed, wondering about things, being reassured that He is still here with me..so as the lump in my throat would well up at the thought of "letting go" of our two children and releasing my ever-so-tight grip on them (I've been homeschooling them) He reminded me of that very devotion again. They are a blessing--a gift from God. Could it be that I've been holding on to them so tightly, (trying to protect them from the wolves world) that the river of Life has stopped flowing; had the running water come to a temporary obstacle? Does He want to use them to be a blessing, and me holding on tightly, keeping them here, is actually me "not sharing" the GIFTS He's given me???
Well, let me tell you in a nutshell---I pretty much hit rock bottom when I went to the Open House last Friday. It was a rough weekend for me, emotionally---the storm was raging "something fierce." But isn't that what usually happens before the rainbow of promise appears? As my physical strength was drying up, and I've had to keep going to the Source of Strength for Him to carry me this week, the Great Physician gave me a few shots in the "spiritual arm" to boost me. And I'll pass them along for you too: |
| This is Chase a few years ago. |
After football practice earlier this week, the father of one of "Pancake's" team mates approached us to thank Chase. At first I wondered "What did Chase do?" That's when the father proceeded to tell me that he appreciated Chase sharing his faith with his son on the football field! He said that they are Christians too and it meant so much to him for his son to come home from football practice and talk about Chase sharing his faith. I heard a little "whisper" from above---"Don't you see why the enemy is fighting you and your family so much? Can't you see the potential? Do not give up!" I thanked that father for letting me know and let him know that was just what I needed to hear....He said, "Don't give up..whatever you're doing, it's working." Mostly what I've been doing is sobbing on the floor, in my "prayer closet" begging God for help.
 |
| This is Alysa last fall. |
The Next Boost: Last night, at practice, another mom began to talk to me... and somehow she began to share her faith, which opened the door for us to just talk about the Lord...and that was so refreshing! I've been missing THIS aspect of "life" so very much. After practice, another "mom" asked me, "Are you Alysa's mom?" I said, "Yes." She then told me how "precious Alysa is"...and how she "enjoyed Alysa's bubbly personality at the scrimmage the other weekend." Here I've been, "couped up" all weekend studying, feeling like "this is not where I need to be..." (missing games, etc) and yet God is wanting to remove ME from the picture to let THE BLESSINGS He's given me SHINE for Him. Whoah. That's all I can say is "Whoah...I didn't see that coming!" Humbling isn't it?
So..that's the latest from this tired, leaky vessel. One more thing: I am SO thankful that our Gracious God understands our condition---that we are living in such a difficult world---being battered and bombarded by the enemy, sometimes even when WE don't even realize that we're not wrestling with flesh and blood--but with the enemy! I'm so glad that when I can no longer lift my head from my pillow, all I have to do is lift my voice, even faintly, and cry out, "carry me, for I can no longer go on"---and He does just that. He hears us, y'all. Even though we can reach the "end of our rope and feel like sending out an SOS," all we have to do is go to THE S.O.S. (Source of Strength) and He'll carry us. He sent some encouraging words to me & I'll pass this on too: "Keep up My Work, for it is GOOD." And today, He's carrying this little lamb.
Have a great weekend y'all! Love and miss you lots and lots
